Deciding that you're ready to date a cougar is the first step into a new dating arena. The rules are pretty much the same as dating younger chicks, but there are a lot of subtle differences that we'll try to help you with in this short but sweet web guide.
Where to find a cougar date?
So you're ready to date a cougar but where are you going to find her? Sure, you see potential cougars everywhere, on the subway, in the supermarket, on the bus, at the mall - but are they really cougars? Or are they just hot older chicks with angry husbands waiting to kick your ass?
If you're a fearless cougar hunter please go ahead and take your chances by approaching the next hot older woman you see in public. It's a risky business though and you're on your own because this guide into how to date a cougar steers clear of such unreliable methods.
Here we recommend the two proven places to meet a cougar woman: 1). the bar and 2). online dating sites.
Finding a cougar to date in a bar should be fairly straightforward. More and more cougars are heading into bars and clubs to check out the young cougarbait on offer. So go find them, and when you do, be confident, be cool and remember the reason most cougars are looking for a younger man is because they're bored of the slipper wearing, couch potato guys of their own age. That's why you have to exude energy, fun and sexual appetite if you want to secure a date with a cougar in a bar.
Online dating is also a great tool in your quest to date a cougar. The benefit of online dating is that you get to sound out your cougar for a while first by swapping messages and maybe even photos. You can really get an idea of what your cougar woman is looking for and make sure that if you do go on a date with her, you're likely to be on the same wavelength. The drawback of course is that you don't know how realistic the photos of your cougar really are. You want an older woman but you don't want a shrivelled up prune, right? So there's a balance to be struck and when you date a cougar based on pictures alone you take a chance. But then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Securing your date with a cougar
When you're first talking to your cougar (either online or in the 'real world') it pays to remember that no two cougars are the same. Just like girls in their 20s, cougar women vary enormously in what they are looking for from a man.
Some may want a boyfriend - possibly a fit young guy to have on her arm. Now consider...are you ready to be a trophy boytoy? If so then this may be the cougar for you, and the way to secure a date with this kind of cougar is to demonstrate you have long term potential as boyfriend material. Before you approach your target cougar, think about possible ways you can demonstrate value as a potential boyfriend - namely focus on your conversation topics and make sure you stay away from dumbass behavior like discussing your favorite football team. Show that you've got brains as well as youth on your side and you have a much better chance of securing your date with a cougar.
On the other hand, there are a whole bunch of cougars out there who are simply after a good time with a younger guy - a chance to relive their youth and inject some fun back into their lives after 20 years married to a boring old fart. Most guys are looking to date a cougar like this - a hot older chick who's a bit of a good time girl at heart and wants to have some fun with a capital F. The key to bagging your cougar date in this scenario is to keep it light. Avoid the classic serious topics such as religion and politics. Instead talk about some fun things you've been doing lately and especially if they happen to be active sports like surfing, snowboarding or skating. They'll love the idea that you're a fit young guy who knows how to enjoy himself.
One final piece of advice when it comes to getting your date with a cougar - don't ruin the vibe by talking about the age gap like it's some kind of sexual fantasy that you want to explore. Lines like 'yeah, I've always wanted to go with an older babe' are pretty much guaranteed to put you out of the game. Unless of course you have the skill to deliver the line with the right level of ironic humor and sexiness that gets their palms (or is that paws?) sweating.
Where to take a cougar on your first date
There's no big secret to this one. For a first date, it's always a safe bet to go for either a drink or a meal. If you choose to date a cougar who you met online and therefore haven't spoken to much (if at all) it's a good idea to take her to a bar for your first date. You don't want to commit to a whole two or three hour meal with a much older woman if you haven't seen her in person. The sad fact is that she may not look much like her photo, and in that case your dinner date could be one of the most awkward nights of your young life. So go instead to a quiet bar where you can get to know her properly, rather than to a packed out club where you have to shout to be heard. And remember to avoid bars that your friends may be at - that could be a major distraction to you and your cougar.
If you do opt for a dinner date, remember to watch your table manners! Cougar women may be hot mature chicks looking for fun, but they also grew up in an age where manners were emphasised more, so watch your elbows on the table, talking with your mouth full, and of course it's best to avoid the spaghetti.
Finally, just because she's older and probably has more money (thanks to her excellent divorce lawyer) never assume your cougar date should pay for the meal. If she really insists, let her pay but always be first to get the wallet out and show that you want her for who she is (body and mind) not what she can do for you. Play it right and your date with a cougar could turn into a night you'll remember for a long time to come.
I couldn't have said it better myself...;-)
Posted by: | 05/27/2008 at 03:26 AM
OMG,
Internet dating sites should make this article required reading for the cougar prey members. I can't tell you how many young studs with great potential, I've talked to who just don't get it, that unlike most other dating, cougar dating is not "all about them" getting their rocks off, and fulfilling their fantasies. Cougar dating is about reciprocity, quid pro quo, and both parties getting their needs taken care of. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten excited in anticipation and been bored to tears listening to them go on about sports, talk about themselves, brag about their sexual prowess, and reveal their idealistic naivete about politics & religion. Cougar hunting requires a degree of finesse and not all young men have developed this. Cougars be advised, there are many using this new, popular dating type as an excuse to forego the normal polite protocol of regular dating, the effort it requires, and get laid on the cheap. It's an excuse that allows them to be a rude, crude, mannerless pigs. On the other hand, I've been refreshed and delighted by some of the young men I've met, a twenty something marine with a delicious tall, lean deer rifle body, who's been to war and should be jaded, but somehow retains his innocence about women. He's an uncomplicated diamond in the rough, completely unaware of his charms, and totally disarmed when I flirt with him in an erotic, playful way. He's just so cute I could eat him up. Then there's the 30 something Russian Art Director, who has a degree in biochemistry. English is his second language, but he's quite adept at holding an intellectual conversation in it. This guy is so smart, knowledgeable, cultured, subtle, refined, polite, and gentlemanly that his degree of polish could probably bring on an a climax. Both of these men, though polar opposites, inspire a level of arousal in me, that I haven't felt since my teens.
Posted by: Crystal W. | 06/07/2008 at 06:13 PM
I am involved with a man 17 years younger than myself. He attented high school with my children! I am really having an issue with the age thing. It doesn't seem to bother him and honestly it didn't bother me until we began having sex. Don't get me wrong the sex is great, but I feel terrible after he leaves. I'm not sure where to go from here.
On one hand I can't stop thinking about how wonderful he is and on the other hand I think I'm nuts! Help!
To make things worse my children have NO idea and will probably never be able to look at me again when they do find out.
I'm not ready to give this relationship up, but I'm also not ready for it to develope into something more serious.
Any suggestions??
Posted by: S. | 08/09/2008 at 03:21 AM
Very nice article... I enjoyed it very much!
Posted by: Cougar Beauty Secrets | 08/20/2008 at 12:52 AM
great discussion, here's a great vid i just found with tips for cougar dating http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f864dd6cf8
Posted by: Carmen | 08/20/2008 at 11:00 PM
Cougar hunting requires a degree of finesse and not all young men have developed this. Cougars be advised, there are many using this new, popular dating type as an excuse to forego the normal polite protocol of regular dating, the effort it requires, and get laid on the cheap
Posted by: date a cougar | 08/27/2008 at 05:05 AM
Great article. I am 52 dating a man 32 for the last 2 years. He is college educated, articulate, adorable and able to be in a great 50/50 attention/interests relationship. We met through a mutual interest and while the age concerned us at first now, we never even think about it. We live together now and have no intention of parting ways. I say go for it!
Posted by: Barbara | 10/30/2008 at 08:13 PM
I started flirting with a young 40, married with 6 kids...he wasn't enjoying his marriage at all, but I found that I thought about him a lot. We would see each other occasionally, TXTm talk on the phone, and have lunch...so far so good..he knew the rules, that he was a want more than a need. All was well then he started behaving like a boy. Not TXTing back, no answers, no calls...I decided big boys are usually easier and at least display better manners. He has now been deleted from my cell phone.
Posted by: Lori | 11/05/2008 at 05:32 PM
Very interesting article. I enjoyed reading it and picked up alot of tips.
Posted by: Daryl Dorsey | 02/07/2009 at 07:28 AM
i liked your artical and look forward to using this info on my next date
Posted by: ryan | 04/08/2009 at 08:08 AM
Hi my name is ringo and i'm looking for a cougar, i'm 24 and i need an older woman who is going to show me the ropes. Please send me a photo and details of your measurements
Posted by: Ringo | 04/21/2009 at 02:59 AM
im a 29 yr old white male looking for a cougar.im outgoing up for anything.im nt your everyday young man.i own a company,no kids or even been marryed.
Posted by: nathan | 08/26/2009 at 07:31 AM
I am a 24 year old guy and this is a very educating as well as useful article. Thank you for sharing it.
cheers
Posted by: JZ | 10/03/2009 at 05:28 AM
so matured!
Posted by: krishna | 10/03/2009 at 04:35 PM
Intellect and confidance are key in the realm.. I am dating a 45 year young beautiful woman right now.. I'm 23 and she I definatly what I've been looking for.. her daughter is my age and that makes my cougar a little uncomfortable.. but I keep my head hi and my conversation juicy.... that's it... you have to really know what your doing especially when dealing with a cougar... they know more than you.. you just have to seem to know more than her
Posted by: bube | 11/03/2009 at 05:34 PM
Im 23 and Im take this girl out that is 29 would she be considered a Cougar?
Posted by: Tim Lawson | 11/17/2009 at 07:38 AM
Great article! I have a love for cougars at 17 yrs old and this may just be the push i need to go out there , find one, and talk to her
Posted by: Kitkat | 11/17/2009 at 02:42 PM
great article loved it !!!!
Posted by: ZRodriguez | 12/13/2009 at 01:17 PM
any cougars in pasadena area?
Posted by: stan | 12/22/2009 at 03:10 AM
im 30 and looking for older lady in pasadena, CA area. i hope u exist?. my email is front6850@yahoo.com
Posted by: stan | 12/22/2009 at 03:11 AM
I hope this trend continues!
Posted by: Michelle Rawling | 12/29/2009 at 01:31 AM
just remember all cougars are not sugar mamma too. where did they get that term. other side to it could be cougar looking for young man with money.
Posted by: joy | 01/10/2010 at 10:04 AM
HAHA
<<<<<
Posted by: Ssss | 01/15/2010 at 09:47 PM
searching for friendship
Posted by: fatjoulol | 02/09/2010 at 12:32 AM
I was at a local bar this past New Year's Eve when a gorgeous, tall, lean, blonde young man came up to me, stared into my eyes, and said, "You are beautiful." I thanked him, turned away to watch the band, and when I turned around he was still there and still staring. We started talking, and it wasn't long before I waltzed out the door with him at closing time. Mind-blowing night, all night. But I was boss, and he was my pupil, and a willing pupil he was...(BTW, I'm 47 and divorced) If he hadn't been so innocently confident there is no way I would have gone home with him. So to all of you young hunters out there: be yourself, but be aware that women our age appreciate manners, abhor cockiness, and can detect B.S. a mile away.
Good luck! ;)
Posted by: nicole | 02/12/2010 at 12:40 AM
i have to remind everyone that younger men are not fully developed as adults they may appear confident but have a long way to learn about life. the older women has lived her life and has different expectations, the realtionship is only short term and long term it would not work out its only a novelty thing for yopunger men. the older woman wants more than that a comittment and young men dont want comittment all what they want is freedom and no responsibility
Posted by: rod | 02/13/2010 at 04:50 AM
Hey, great article. If you're a cougar who's having trouble finding a local cub (young man), check out [cougar dating websites]
Posted by: Aiden | 02/17/2010 at 07:39 AM
Also, just because a guy is younger than you, do not underestimate him. Guys today are more savvy and sophisticated at a very young age.
Posted by: hot cougars | 03/09/2010 at 03:21 AM
What's not to like about younger men? They are usually in good shape, younger, more energetic (especially in bed) and is looking to gain your (you being the cougar) approval and confidence.
Cougar relationships do not have to be short term either. I've been in long term relationships with a much younger guy and that worked out lovely for the both of us.
Posted by: Jane@Cougar Dating | 03/09/2010 at 03:24 AM
What a great article.. I sincerely wish more men would read this and understand. So many think they can just swoop in and say what ever they wish and get their way. The "hey baby" pick up line doesn't work with a cougar, at least not this cougar.. Thanks so much for this. I think I'm going to print it up and make every guy I meet read it .. LOL.
Posted by: Jadae | 03/18/2010 at 06:45 PM
One of my goals is to find myself a good cougar.....Its been a fantasy ever since I was even younger, back in high school year.
Posted by: Bruno | 04/12/2010 at 07:43 AM
I love younger men. I have dated only men at least 5 years younger and as much as 10 years younger than me for many years. I love the energy and a nice tight bod. Older men just aren't the same, different mentality. I seem to have more in common with younger guys. They're actually more fun and are usually more interested in me. I'm flattered. I think younger men like cougars because they have no agenda, don't usually want to get married and are usually very independent and don't need a man to take care of them.
Posted by: Lisa green | 04/14/2010 at 04:46 AM
I'm 26 years old. Looking for a Cougar. yalays@hotmail.com
Posted by: louis | 04/20/2010 at 07:17 AM
Looking for a cougar closer to Winchester, VA. Quid pro quo based on mutual needs. Willing to keep this whole thing discreet. I'm a good looking guy with a gf, its just that lately I'm getting a hard on for older women and I just can't seem to let it go. I need this. Email me davidsenfield@yahoo.com
Posted by: David | 04/20/2010 at 10:39 PM
Can a cougar be the best lover for a youg men?
Posted by: Milo | 04/22/2010 at 12:48 AM
Is their any cougar that wants to date me?
Posted by: milo | 04/22/2010 at 01:02 AM
hi pls i need a cougar lady. am raphael dey should contact me on raphyrulz4good@yahoo.com
Posted by: Raphael | 06/01/2010 at 07:11 PM
I would say dating an older women is great not only because she is your lover but she would also have that motherly instinct with you as well and be able to comfort you like a younger women may not be able to.Plus there would be no games like their could be with younger women.Also their sexual experience is invaluable in bed trust me and they tend to be secure and set in their lives.Just my opinion but an older women is great and that's nothing against younger women.
Posted by: Don Green | 06/10/2010 at 03:34 AM
Hmmm. I have been considering older women since they are more mature and more experienced, in all facets of life. Young women tend to not know what they want or where to go....yet. I know a cougar, well she isn't really a cougar, I don't think...but she is WAYYYY older than me...56. I chat with her online, from time to time and flirt with her just for fun, she likes it. I am only 25, I think she is a LITTLE too old for me. She is italian and doesn't look like she aged one bit!! I'm sure she like younger boys....LOL. I wish I could marry her, in heaven perhaps......
Posted by: Travis | 06/10/2010 at 09:53 AM
Good article.. I'm a 23 yr old who is looking to date Mature women and so far I haven't had any luck. Does anyone know where I can go find them ??? I've seen so many hot older women out there but how do I know they are looking or are into dating younger men?? I live in San Diego so can please any one help me..
Posted by: Omar | 06/10/2010 at 09:54 AM
Im black and African, I reside in Malaysia. I hope I could find me a cougar. I'll rock your world. HOLLA AT deji_thompson@hotmail.com.
Posted by: naijaman | 06/24/2010 at 12:00 AM
I couldn't help but stumble onto the cougar website, and I must say - I love it! I just wanted to turn you on to this song - it's by this great band from here in Chicago called Thunderwing, who have been featured in many magazines as well as have shared the stage with many famous major bands. The song is called "Cougar In A Jaguar" and can be heard here : www.myspace.com/thunderwing . It's in the music player - all you have to do is click on it. There is also a video in production for the song right now but it's not completed yet. Either way - the song is really fun, so check it out!
Posted by: Dave Hanson | 06/25/2010 at 01:55 PM
I am 18 years old and I act mature for my age but I still know how to have a good time and this article really helps I feel confident to talk to older woman now.
Posted by: Roger | 07/15/2010 at 05:23 AM